Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
