roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
