so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize