I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Enjoy the penises
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
