Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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