i may or may not be watching the land before time
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
