Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How does it feel to date your dad?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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