Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would ride that face into the sunset
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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