Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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