My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
