it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
