his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
