I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize