OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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