Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
