sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
