Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
