Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
