she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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