margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
