xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
