i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
