just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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