I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
