So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
