Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
