Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You ate ashes out of my bong
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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