She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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