I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
