Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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