Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
