is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the day after is always just damage control
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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