i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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