We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
