We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
