sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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