AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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