But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
