Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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