someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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