Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
