They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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