I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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