"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
