just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
