Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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