Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
