You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
