I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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