Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize