STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
