she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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