pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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