Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
