you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
