alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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