Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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